Towards the latter part of last year, I was able to put into words, for the first time, that I suffered from emptiness. After struggling with depression and ongoing mood episodes for years, it was always a fight to find balance. But I never found balance, and try as I may – even with the right meds and healthcare and everything in between – the sadness purveyed. I realised then that perhaps it wasn’t sadness at all, it wasn’t even loneliness. I was just aridly empty, and exhausted from trying to fill the desolation.
I love a good dress up. On the cusp of 2017 my boyfriend Barry treated me to the ultimate New Year’s Eve dinner party. The Shortmarket Club, Cape Town’s most stylish and Gatsby-esque fine dining destination (read my review of it here), opened its doors to a select crowd for a themed night of eating, drinking, dancing and celebrating. It was magical!
I have been back at work the last two days after the most wonderful, soul-enriching holiday. I couldn’t afford to travel overseas – or locally for that matter – so it was a stay-at-home vacation that turned out to be one of my best – ever.
Our lives are a throng of activity. Roads are busier, days are overloaded from 9 till 5, inboxes are flooded. For too long I’ve tried to do everything. But it’s not working for me anymore. I’m performing at a sub-optimal level. If I look at my diary on a Monday morning and the schedule is too busy and there’s too much on, I feel anxious, and anxiety doesn’t work for me either. In honour of this new revelation, I am pursuing the art of minimalism.